Do you feel that you don’t always get the respect you believe you deserve in your relationships? Do you simply feel that you’re being patronized at times by your guy, as if you are a child, and he wants to make sure you’re treated accordingly?

Dr. Pamela Zimmer founded the Human Relations Center for Women in New York in 1989. In her Center, she serves women as a Psychospiritual Therapist. Basically that means that she helps women to become integrated within themselves spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically.

Dr. Pamela works to help women evolve into their highest selves and attain their potential in all areas of their lives. To gain insight into your journey to your Higher Self.

I don’t know any women, personally or professionally, including myself, that can’t answer in the affirmative to these questions. Not likely – unless you’re just masochistic and you’re seeking ill treatment to justify how bad you feel about yourself. So what is the reason that someone you care about or like or even love can come at you from “out of the blue” with a critical or destructive comment?

As women, we usually feel either a combo of hurtful pain along with what feels like uncontrollable rage percolating just below the surface, or even deeper than that, or we swing back and forth between these polarities. Otherwise, you’re left with the residue which can spring up again if you don’t clear it completely. Well, first, I want to say that you must be in a safe place when you go on your releasing binge.I strongly recommend that you’re alone when you do it, because although you may feel like being vengeful, release is not about harming yourself or someone else. He needed someone to blame and you were there so it was all too convenient.

While this form of projection is certainly not okay, you have now come to realize that his hurtful words were all about HIM. This one’s not about you!

The first step in achieving a resolution is to set a realistic goal. In other words, being sensible as well as very specific about the change you want to make (A healthier diet, finding a significant other in one month). This is the starting place of all dreams!

Step Two: Create an Action Plan:

Initial attempts to succeed at your commitment remain limited until you set new priorities.

Step Three: Brainstorm Potential Problems

This is the backbone to behavioral changes.

Step Four: Rid Sabotaging Thoughts:

Change requires more energy than doing things your old way.

Step Five: Build Support System:

Putting a support system in place before you launch your action plan is a key to success. Having a good support system in place will help you maintain your emotional strength to continue on your path when you weaken.

The New You

It only takes a small consistent actions to make a big changes in your life. Don’t let fear, procrastination or doubt get in your way. Nancy Fagan, MFT is the founder of The Divorce Help Clinic

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