How to Deal With Those Old Feelings

The relationship was over but you are now starting to feel a little more comfortable, and starting to miss your ex. You are wondering if it is possible to get back together. The two of you do meet up and all of a sudden it feels like starting all over again, the first date once more. Things are just a little awkward as you feel there are still unresolved issues.

Even though you know the issues from the past must be dealt with, it might not be the best time now. When you first get back together, keep it light and ease back into the relationship. Make it like it’s a new situation even though you know the old problems have to be tabled sooner than later.

The right time will come, when the problems from the past can be brought up and dealt with. But when is the right time? If the discussion were to happen too soon it may not give the new start a chance to grow into a positive, nurtured new relationship. If the discussion were to be put off too long the underlying issues may have a tendency to cause each more anxiety than is necessary and may end up catching up with the two of you down the road.

If you have been really serious about getting back with your ex and have spent so time trying to figure out what you did wrong and how you could improve things in your relationship, you might end up being pleasantly surprised that a lot of the issues have disappeared. And with any luck your ex has done the same soul searching and made the changed in their lives as well. Now, that is the best world scenario, but we all know it doesn’t always fall into place so nicely.

Most of the time people do not change over night and many times not at all. It will take work, compromise and understanding from both sides to make it work. It may be you who has to compromise a little more, until the other person comes around.

More than likely the time just before the split was probably pretty tense with either one or both always on edge. In the first little while after starting to see each other again you need to fine a way to put the fun back in your relationship. Remembering why you were together in the first place and not just remembering all the bad times at the end. Maybe try some of the activities that you both really enjoyed together before this split. You never know, maybe you will start a whole new set of wonderful memories.

Please don’t think that this will be a walk in the park. There were reasons the two of you broke up. It is still going to take a lot of work and probably changing on both sides, but if you care for your partner that much, isn’t it worth it?

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